Today's Topic : Fund Raisers:
Please answer the poll. Yesterday no one expressed an opinion on the subject of the mysterious alien abduction but me. Since I was the only one who voted, then I must be correct. The correct answer was, "Likely whisked through an interdimensional portal." Sheesh people, get with the program. Answer today's poll and you will feel like you are part of a holistically integrated web experience, connecting with a personality gestalt in a deeply personal way.
This morning's blog is on a subject that has become fascinating to me over the last few years. You remember when we were young and went bar hopping in an attempt to pick up dates, or just listen to the latest hot band? Ok, maybe, you don't remember doing that, but you know that's what young people often do.
Now, we are nothing short of middle aged. Hanging out with kids who are in their 20's is not a very appealing exercise. So, other than sitting at home watching a movie, what is there for us as old folks to do socially? Well, apparently a lot. We are in a high paced futuristic society full of instant gratification and visceral delights. Why shouldn't old folks have a night out too? Well, in the last few years, my wife and I have become more involved with our community. In doing so, we have ended up with a fairly packed social calendar whether we like it or not. Most of these social activities center around 'fund raisers'. Milk the baby-boomers for a hundred bucks to pay for the lifestyle choices of their children. It's come a long way from buying a candy bar from your kid so he can go to band camp.
Most of the fundraisers I have attended in the last couple of years have included a social night out for groups of couples. I'm not always the most sociable guy in the world myself, but with the promise of 'free' beer I try to warm to the task. Actually, the real secret is this. Learn about sports. Even if you don't like sports and have never watched sports I have some important advice. Read the sports section of the newspaper. Watch ESPN every now and then, and at least catch a few baseball and football games from your local sports teams. I know it's hard, but it's worth it. As you get older, the mind dulling experience of watching a sporting event washes over you and bathes you in a sense of hypnotic relaxation. This is a good thing in a stressed out life.
Once you have made this modest investment you will now find it much easier to engage in conversation with other male units at a social gathering. That's not to say men only talk about sports, but it's a great way to break into a conversation, and to get things rolling along to more important subjects like the weather or what you do for a living. If all you have to offer conversationally is how well your 10th level elf warrior is doing in D&D or how you invented an algorithm to perform chunky memory allocation, you aren't going to find a lot of takers.
So here are some examples of the kind of social fundraisers we have been to in the last few years.
Dinner/Dance: This is the first social event listed because this is what I am attending Saturday night. In this scenario you pay $50 a person, $100 a couple, for the privilege of eating a plate of roast beef or chicken, buffet style, and all the alcohol you can drink. There is a fundamental inequity in this setup. First, people think they have to drink as much as absolutely possible. It’s really no different than going to a Chinese buffet, but the consequences are even more embarrassing. Gluttony of food is one thing, but gluttony of alcohol is downright ugly. The unfairness of this arrangement stems from the fact that many people can't drink, so they are not getting their money’s worth. Also, there are those of us like me who drink beer. Beer is cheap, hard liquor is expensive. So while I drink my beers, slowly nursing a nice gentle buzz, my compatriots are downing shots at a mad pace. Eventually some husband become so sloppy drunk that, not only do you not want to talk sports with them, you don't want to be in the same room. But, shots it is, and shots it does, and it's all for charity in the end, so drink up good buddies.
After dinner the DJ will spin tunes and couples will dance on the dance floor. The evening is a 'gala affair'. That is to say women get to dress to the hilt. Wives don't care what men think about how they look, they are dressing almost exclusively to impress the other women. They will diet for months just so they can dress to kill on this one night. The crowd of females at this party looks as if they all walked into Vanna White's closet while it exploded. Enough sequins and backless, strapless, push ups and pumps to frighten away small children at a Halloween party. Meanwhile, the men hover around the bar, grunting about Kurt Warner and his poor injured pinkie and his shrew of a wife who hen pecks both him and his coach. Man...this is going to be great!!! The only other aspect of the evening I find particularly entertaining is the teacup auction. Since most of these events have this same feature, I will give it it's own section later. This fundraiser generates about $4,000, less whatever it ends up costing per person, which is significant with an open bar. However, most of the money is raised from the teacup auction and raffles that I will cover in it's own section.
Trivia Night This is the new mad craze across the nation and I have to say I'm a big fan. First thing's first. Trivia night is not about trivia. Oh, sure, it is to some, but do you really want to be one of those people? Your goal at trivia night is not to get the highest score, neither is it to get the lowest. Your goal is to come out right in the middle, suffering no humiliation of any kind, and walk away with a great evening of fun.
As a fundraiser, trivia night works like this. First you must buy a 'table', which typically costs about $120. Each table has enough room for four (sometimes five) couples, so we are only talking $15 a person. Most trivia nights include all you can drink beer with the table. A successful trivia night will often have around 20 tables (though I have been to a 40 table trivia night before). So, in this way, anywhere from about 150 to 300 people show up. That ranges from $2,250 to $4,500. Understand this only includes money for the tables; a lot more money is made by the other fundraising elements that I will cover later.
So here's how trivia night works. Somehow you have to round up three other couples, get them to commit for the evening, and get them to cough up the money. You pay per table, not per person. This can be a minor logistical nightmare in and of itself. Once you have four couples committed, the fun begins. As far as I'm concerned the whole point of trivia night is the food. You can treat the evening as a kind of potluck dinner, with each couple bringing different finger foods; including shrimp trays and other exotic and delicious hors dourves. Of course, somebody always has to bring the desert. Even though there is usually 'free' beer, you often bring a small cooler with some good imported stuff to supplement the draft. The alcohol junkies in the crowd end up having tables overflowing with Jello shots, and pockets of small vials and casks full of their own private stash. This is the same crowd that would be horrified and appalled at the suggestion of 'illegal' drug use, but are certainly not shy about overindulging in the legal variety.
The game itself can be highly entertaining. It takes place in 10 rounds of 10 questions each. You end up answering 100 trivia questions for the night, which will take about 2 1/2 to 3 hours to complete. A 'high score' for the evening would be between 80 and 90, which is no mean feat to achieve. In the front of the room sits a panel of judges, scowling over their pitchers of beer. This elite high counsel passes judgment, leaving us humble in their presence. Actually, it's Joe, Larry, and Mary that got horns waggled into 'volunteering' for this job of dubious distinction. Pasted on the wall in front are huge rolls of paper. This wall of shame has a grid that looks very much like the scorecard for bowling. It is divided into columns representing each of the 10 rounds and rows listing each of the 20 to 40 tables. As each round is completed, and the judges have passed judgment, the round score and total score for your table is written on the wall for everyone to see. The number one, two, and three teams are singled out. Sometimes a set of balloons representing first, second, and third place are moved from table to table as each round is completed. The goal, in some people's minds, is to get the highest score. However, we are wise in the ways of the world, and know that trivia night is about food, alcohol, making fun of stupid trivia questions, and a raffle at the end. We strive for mediocrity with every fiber of our being, and have yet to be disappointed. The stress of being in first place for three rounds only to plunge into a well of stupidity is too much drama to undertake on this alleged evening of fun.
At the beginning of each round 'runners' (teenage children of some of the parents who have been 'volunteered' to help out) place a sheet of paper on every table. This paper declares the topic of this round (books, movies, sports, history, etc.) and leaves a place for you to write your answers. The emcee of the ceremonies (the biggest volunteer of them all) reads each of the ten questions in sequence aloud. Once he has read the question, your table gets a minute to come up with an answer. You all argue and debate over what you think the answer might be. If you run out of time, you jot down a note to come back to that one. Some of the questions are 'musical' and the emcee plays a ratty old tape player into the microphone so you can get your clue. After the ten questions are up, you try to firm up all of your answers in a frantic moment of intense negotiation and wild-ass guessing. The runners are sent out to all of the tables and collect your answer sheets. The judges judge, and your scores are placed on the board for all to see. This process, through ten rounds, takes quite a while. A good trivia night should have a number of questions everybody can answer (nobody wants to feel completely stupid), and plenty of questions that are both entertaining and nostalgic.
There is a new intermission game I have seen played at the last couple of trivia nights called 'heads and tails'. Everyone stands up and the emcee begins flipping a coin. Those standing put their hands on either their heads or their rear-end. If the coin toss is heads, everyone with their hands on their butt sits down. This process continues until there are only two people standing. The last one standing (through great strategy no doubt) wins a door prize. Personally, I think it is an amusing little intermission game that lets everybody get up and stretch for a moment; certainly more fun than drawing a random number out of a hat.
At the end of the evening the first place winners get a cash prize and the people with the lowest score get something as a booby prize. Throughout the evening, on one or two occasions, the table that wins the highest score in a round gets a free pizza or something else sent to their table. It's really quite a fine evening of fun, and I strongly recommend it.
Mouse Races: Now, this fund raiser is a hoot and a half. I'm not quite certain how this fundraiser is even legal, but it's an awful lot of fun. I took my son Alex with me and he had a great time. True, watching mice race isn’t quite the same thing as going to the track, but to a 10 year old kid who gets to tap on the glass and scream at his rodent, it seems to serve well enough. I've only been to one of these, so I don't know if they are all as generous as this one was. It included free alcohol and soda, free food, free snacks and deserts, all for just $10 a head. Of course, nobody who goes to the mouse races drops just $10. Once you arrive you have to exchange your real money for play money since, after all, it's illegal to gamble with real money. Now, get this. For one real dollar, you get one play dollar. A perfect one to one exchange rate. And, when the evening is over, you turn back in one play dollar in return for one real dollar. Good thing we are only gambling with 'play' money. I would hate to do something so immoral. This has got to be the most irrational examples of rationalization I have seen since the voters of Missouri decided it was 'immoral' to gamble on land, but 'moral' to gamble if you were standing on water. I guess Jesus would have wanted it that way....
The way it all works is there is this dude who has a pile of mice and a racetrack. (They are actually all hamsters but we call them mice because it sounds better.) The racetrack is just a big wooden rack with slots for six mice to run along. It has a gate at one end, and a finish line painted at the other. The entire front is covered with Plexiglas so you can watch the race when it starts. You are given race forms when you arrive and pore over them trying to ascertain which mouse you should bet on. There are six races plus one champion’s race. Each of the first six races uses completely different mice.
All of the mice have been given amusing sounding names, and based on the name as your only clue, you are supposed to make a decision. (I tend to think the mice didn't have a 'name' until the handler shoved them into a box, but I'm just cynical that way.) Should I bet on "Speedy" or should I bet on "Pokey"? (Hint, it doesn't make a damn bit of difference.) A few minutes before the race, the dude loads up all of the hamsters into their slots so you can watch them prepare for the race. Are they fidgeting and crawling to get out? Are they sitting there listless and bored? Are they skinny and weak, fat and slow, or lean and mean? Study them carefully because real fake play money of value is riding on the outcome. Once you have selected which mice you want, you place your bets. You are given a slip of paper that says how much money you bet and on what racers.
Then the race begins! It's much more entertaining than you might think. Some mice just sit there and don't move. Some wander out tentatively, exploring like a nervous rabbit. Some will trot along at a modest pace. And, some, will dash out at a blinding speed, causing everyone to gasp in amazement as he heads towards the finish line and ...then...come to a dead stop two inches from the end and take a sniff. It's maddening to watch, and provides almost as much chaos as an actual horse race. The crowd screams and shouts, "Go Pokey, Go!!" Kids are jumping up and down, and then it's over. Most races last less than five seconds. Five seconds of heart pounding action that leaves you breathless and drained. Time to go get another beer and one of those delicious finger sandwiches to recover your strength.
At the end of the race, winners bring up their slips of paper and collect their winnings. Odds are determined by betting patterns. If you bet on a mouse with only a few votes and everybody else bet heavily on others, then you get higher odds. So, it turns out, there actually is a strategy. Each round Alex and I would wait until the last minute, when bets were about to close, and look at the sheet showing which mice people were voting for. We would then bet on the three mice with the fewest number of votes. We didn't win any money, but by the last race we were still even. We were betting with a bankroll of about $70. The last race of the evening was comprised of all the winners from the previous six races. In the champions race we lost, and ended up down about $25 for the night. However, it was, as they say, all for charity.
This event, like all of the others, had raffles and drawings to raise more money and give you something else to do. Let's face it, it's just gambling, but the odds are a heck of a lot better than you are going to get anywhere else, your losses can be rationalized as 'going to a good cause', and you get to eat good food and drink alcohol socially. It's not all bad.
Movie Night: This is a fairly straightforward fund raiser. We have only done it once, but it was a huge success, and I imagine it will continue as a tradition. The only sticking point with movie night is the legality of publicly showing a film. Schools around the nation show films constantly and don't think twice about it. However, it is more than just technically illegal to publicly show a movie, especially if you charge money for it. Recently a licensing company has been mailing letters to every school in the country telling them how bad they are by showing movies illegally, and how Hollywood could sue them down to their last blackboard eraser, and if they only pay a nominal licensing fee (typically around $400 per school per year), they can show films legally and guilt free. What they don't always mention is that you can't charge money for it.
There is some confusion as to whether or not you even have to pay the fee at all. My friend John Obsershelp called the legal department at Walt Disney and they told him that it was ok for a school to show Disney films so long as they didn't charge money for them. However, we didn't get anything in writing and in light of the scary letters being sent out, it's probably better to be safe than sorry.
There are two expenses when it comes to showing a movie for movie night. First, is the film itself, and second is the licensing fees. If you rent a film from a company like "Swank" it typically includes a license for a one-time showing. To rent a newly released film runs around $250 to $400. If you already have the films, because you know a film collector like me, then you only have to worry about the license fee, which can be amortized over a year of showings.
As a fundraiser this is all quite straightforward. You put up a huge screen at the end of the school's gymnasium. You put up flyers around the school and send home notes with children letting them know there is going to be a movie night. You ask for a two-dollar 'donation' per child. For the movie night kids are encouraged to bring a sleeping bag, or pillow and blanket. You set up a popcorn machine and sell popcorn, candy, and soda as concessions.
As far as attendance goes? Get out of here. Parents get a really cheap baby sitter, and the kids get to have a monster slumber party. Expect half the school body to show up, probably at least a couple of hundred kids. The audience doesn’t really care about the movie. They rustle and stir, talk and giggle, and get up and down about a dozen times apiece during the movie. And, all along, they have a great time. This event can make quite a bit of money and gives the kids a clean wholesome night out of fun.
Auctions:
This is a fantastic fundraiser and social event. I have been to one of these a couple of times. The one I attend is run by the local Catholic Church to raise money for the school. Some of our close friends attend this church and their kids go to the school so we are happy to participate.
Now, this is a monster event. The Catholic Church gets local businesses, parishioners, and community leaders to contribute generously. Many of the members of the St. Louis Rams are deeply religious and donate incredible items for the auction, including signed jerseys and game balls. One year that I went, someone had donated an old classic Italian convertible sports car! All of these donated items form the basis for the auction.
Spread out through the entire school, classroom after classroom, there are incredible arrays of items stacked up waiting for people to bid on them. You pay a fee to attend the auction itself. I believe it was about $20 a person. Of course, being the Catholic Church, this includes all of the draft beer you can drink for the night. Beer drinking is strongly encouraged, because the more beer you drink the more out of control you may become in your bidding.
Most of the items for auction have a card attached to them. When you arrive, you are assigned a number and you walk from room to room, placing written open bids on items that interest you. Of course, a couple of hundred people are doing the same thing, so you spend a couple of hours checking up on all of your auctions down to the wire.
After a few hours, all of the items are collected and all of the tables are cleared. At this time anyone may then go to the cashier and find out what items they won, pay for them, and stash them in their car.
Now, if this wasn’t fun enough, the real entertainment of the evening is the live auction. A professional auctioneer comes out and auctions off the big items. Including the little Italian sports car. Well, I figured out soon enough that there were no bargains to be had. They would announce an item and its retail value. Once bidding started the auctioneer wasn’t satisfied if it didn’t close for over retail. It was all for charity after all, and if you were looking for a bargain you quickly came off looking like a heel.
Nevertheless, I bid on the little sports car up to about $2,000 and stopped. The next day the guy who won it called me and asked if I wanted it after all. My reply was simple and to the point, sure, I’ll give you what my highest bid was but I wasn’t going to pay the crazy price you did!
This is the biggst fundraiser I have ever been to. It must make tens of thousands of dollars. I love it; my wife hates it, I wonder why?
Raffles, Baskets, 50-50, Teacup auctions
This is a common feature of all of the social fundraising events. The way most of these work is that you buy tickets for chances at winning prizes. Usually, something like one chance for a dollar, and more if you buy in bulk. Recently they started doing a new twist where ten dollars would buy you one arms length worth of tickets and twenty dollars would let you get enough tickets to go from the tip of your fingers arms outstretched; anybody’s arms! So, that guy who stands 6’ 4” and looks like he used to play professional basketball suddenly gets very popular at the party.
Then, arranged on a table, is a collection of baskets containing goodies. They are arranged by theme; golf, sports, dining, and other choices. In front of each basket is a bag or teacup for you to place your tickets in. You can put them all into one, or spread them across the lot.
At the end of the evening a ticket is drawn from each bag and whoever has the winning number gets the prize. Sure, it’s just gambling plain and simple, but your odds are much higher than any other form of gambling and it’s a lot of fun. I have won something every single year I have ever attended and, let’s face it; everybody likes to be a winner.
Like the big auction event, all of the baskets are donated items by local businesses and community members.
Another common fundraiser is the 50-50 raffle. This is really straightforward. You pay a dollar for a chance at the 50-50. At the end of the night a number is drawn and, if you match, you get half the money collected. I have been hooked on 50-50 raffles ever since I won at a minor league baseball game (the Rascals). I made about $400 off of a $1 investment. I recall I was having a really terribly sad day; it was the first father’s day since my brother had recently passed away and it hit me really hard. I took the winnings and spent it on all of the kids and it couldn’t help but get me out of my funk.
Summary:
Those are the big five social fund raising events I have been involved in over the last couple of years. I would be very interested in hearing your suggestions and stories about other types of social fundraisers you have been involved in. I would love to share them with our readers.
Please email me if you have other ideas and be sure to participate in the poll.
Please answer the poll. Yesterday no one expressed an opinion on the subject of the mysterious alien abduction but me. Since I was the only one who voted, then I must be correct. The correct answer was, "Likely whisked through an interdimensional portal." Sheesh people, get with the program. Answer today's poll and you will feel like you are part of a holistically integrated web experience, connecting with a personality gestalt in a deeply personal way.
This morning's blog is on a subject that has become fascinating to me over the last few years. You remember when we were young and went bar hopping in an attempt to pick up dates, or just listen to the latest hot band? Ok, maybe, you don't remember doing that, but you know that's what young people often do.
Now, we are nothing short of middle aged. Hanging out with kids who are in their 20's is not a very appealing exercise. So, other than sitting at home watching a movie, what is there for us as old folks to do socially? Well, apparently a lot. We are in a high paced futuristic society full of instant gratification and visceral delights. Why shouldn't old folks have a night out too? Well, in the last few years, my wife and I have become more involved with our community. In doing so, we have ended up with a fairly packed social calendar whether we like it or not. Most of these social activities center around 'fund raisers'. Milk the baby-boomers for a hundred bucks to pay for the lifestyle choices of their children. It's come a long way from buying a candy bar from your kid so he can go to band camp.
Most of the fundraisers I have attended in the last couple of years have included a social night out for groups of couples. I'm not always the most sociable guy in the world myself, but with the promise of 'free' beer I try to warm to the task. Actually, the real secret is this. Learn about sports. Even if you don't like sports and have never watched sports I have some important advice. Read the sports section of the newspaper. Watch ESPN every now and then, and at least catch a few baseball and football games from your local sports teams. I know it's hard, but it's worth it. As you get older, the mind dulling experience of watching a sporting event washes over you and bathes you in a sense of hypnotic relaxation. This is a good thing in a stressed out life.
Once you have made this modest investment you will now find it much easier to engage in conversation with other male units at a social gathering. That's not to say men only talk about sports, but it's a great way to break into a conversation, and to get things rolling along to more important subjects like the weather or what you do for a living. If all you have to offer conversationally is how well your 10th level elf warrior is doing in D&D or how you invented an algorithm to perform chunky memory allocation, you aren't going to find a lot of takers.
So here are some examples of the kind of social fundraisers we have been to in the last few years.
Dinner/Dance: This is the first social event listed because this is what I am attending Saturday night. In this scenario you pay $50 a person, $100 a couple, for the privilege of eating a plate of roast beef or chicken, buffet style, and all the alcohol you can drink. There is a fundamental inequity in this setup. First, people think they have to drink as much as absolutely possible. It’s really no different than going to a Chinese buffet, but the consequences are even more embarrassing. Gluttony of food is one thing, but gluttony of alcohol is downright ugly. The unfairness of this arrangement stems from the fact that many people can't drink, so they are not getting their money’s worth. Also, there are those of us like me who drink beer. Beer is cheap, hard liquor is expensive. So while I drink my beers, slowly nursing a nice gentle buzz, my compatriots are downing shots at a mad pace. Eventually some husband become so sloppy drunk that, not only do you not want to talk sports with them, you don't want to be in the same room. But, shots it is, and shots it does, and it's all for charity in the end, so drink up good buddies.
After dinner the DJ will spin tunes and couples will dance on the dance floor. The evening is a 'gala affair'. That is to say women get to dress to the hilt. Wives don't care what men think about how they look, they are dressing almost exclusively to impress the other women. They will diet for months just so they can dress to kill on this one night. The crowd of females at this party looks as if they all walked into Vanna White's closet while it exploded. Enough sequins and backless, strapless, push ups and pumps to frighten away small children at a Halloween party. Meanwhile, the men hover around the bar, grunting about Kurt Warner and his poor injured pinkie and his shrew of a wife who hen pecks both him and his coach. Man...this is going to be great!!! The only other aspect of the evening I find particularly entertaining is the teacup auction. Since most of these events have this same feature, I will give it it's own section later. This fundraiser generates about $4,000, less whatever it ends up costing per person, which is significant with an open bar. However, most of the money is raised from the teacup auction and raffles that I will cover in it's own section.
Trivia Night This is the new mad craze across the nation and I have to say I'm a big fan. First thing's first. Trivia night is not about trivia. Oh, sure, it is to some, but do you really want to be one of those people? Your goal at trivia night is not to get the highest score, neither is it to get the lowest. Your goal is to come out right in the middle, suffering no humiliation of any kind, and walk away with a great evening of fun.
As a fundraiser, trivia night works like this. First you must buy a 'table', which typically costs about $120. Each table has enough room for four (sometimes five) couples, so we are only talking $15 a person. Most trivia nights include all you can drink beer with the table. A successful trivia night will often have around 20 tables (though I have been to a 40 table trivia night before). So, in this way, anywhere from about 150 to 300 people show up. That ranges from $2,250 to $4,500. Understand this only includes money for the tables; a lot more money is made by the other fundraising elements that I will cover later.
So here's how trivia night works. Somehow you have to round up three other couples, get them to commit for the evening, and get them to cough up the money. You pay per table, not per person. This can be a minor logistical nightmare in and of itself. Once you have four couples committed, the fun begins. As far as I'm concerned the whole point of trivia night is the food. You can treat the evening as a kind of potluck dinner, with each couple bringing different finger foods; including shrimp trays and other exotic and delicious hors dourves. Of course, somebody always has to bring the desert. Even though there is usually 'free' beer, you often bring a small cooler with some good imported stuff to supplement the draft. The alcohol junkies in the crowd end up having tables overflowing with Jello shots, and pockets of small vials and casks full of their own private stash. This is the same crowd that would be horrified and appalled at the suggestion of 'illegal' drug use, but are certainly not shy about overindulging in the legal variety.
The game itself can be highly entertaining. It takes place in 10 rounds of 10 questions each. You end up answering 100 trivia questions for the night, which will take about 2 1/2 to 3 hours to complete. A 'high score' for the evening would be between 80 and 90, which is no mean feat to achieve. In the front of the room sits a panel of judges, scowling over their pitchers of beer. This elite high counsel passes judgment, leaving us humble in their presence. Actually, it's Joe, Larry, and Mary that got horns waggled into 'volunteering' for this job of dubious distinction. Pasted on the wall in front are huge rolls of paper. This wall of shame has a grid that looks very much like the scorecard for bowling. It is divided into columns representing each of the 10 rounds and rows listing each of the 20 to 40 tables. As each round is completed, and the judges have passed judgment, the round score and total score for your table is written on the wall for everyone to see. The number one, two, and three teams are singled out. Sometimes a set of balloons representing first, second, and third place are moved from table to table as each round is completed. The goal, in some people's minds, is to get the highest score. However, we are wise in the ways of the world, and know that trivia night is about food, alcohol, making fun of stupid trivia questions, and a raffle at the end. We strive for mediocrity with every fiber of our being, and have yet to be disappointed. The stress of being in first place for three rounds only to plunge into a well of stupidity is too much drama to undertake on this alleged evening of fun.
At the beginning of each round 'runners' (teenage children of some of the parents who have been 'volunteered' to help out) place a sheet of paper on every table. This paper declares the topic of this round (books, movies, sports, history, etc.) and leaves a place for you to write your answers. The emcee of the ceremonies (the biggest volunteer of them all) reads each of the ten questions in sequence aloud. Once he has read the question, your table gets a minute to come up with an answer. You all argue and debate over what you think the answer might be. If you run out of time, you jot down a note to come back to that one. Some of the questions are 'musical' and the emcee plays a ratty old tape player into the microphone so you can get your clue. After the ten questions are up, you try to firm up all of your answers in a frantic moment of intense negotiation and wild-ass guessing. The runners are sent out to all of the tables and collect your answer sheets. The judges judge, and your scores are placed on the board for all to see. This process, through ten rounds, takes quite a while. A good trivia night should have a number of questions everybody can answer (nobody wants to feel completely stupid), and plenty of questions that are both entertaining and nostalgic.
There is a new intermission game I have seen played at the last couple of trivia nights called 'heads and tails'. Everyone stands up and the emcee begins flipping a coin. Those standing put their hands on either their heads or their rear-end. If the coin toss is heads, everyone with their hands on their butt sits down. This process continues until there are only two people standing. The last one standing (through great strategy no doubt) wins a door prize. Personally, I think it is an amusing little intermission game that lets everybody get up and stretch for a moment; certainly more fun than drawing a random number out of a hat.
At the end of the evening the first place winners get a cash prize and the people with the lowest score get something as a booby prize. Throughout the evening, on one or two occasions, the table that wins the highest score in a round gets a free pizza or something else sent to their table. It's really quite a fine evening of fun, and I strongly recommend it.
Mouse Races: Now, this fund raiser is a hoot and a half. I'm not quite certain how this fundraiser is even legal, but it's an awful lot of fun. I took my son Alex with me and he had a great time. True, watching mice race isn’t quite the same thing as going to the track, but to a 10 year old kid who gets to tap on the glass and scream at his rodent, it seems to serve well enough. I've only been to one of these, so I don't know if they are all as generous as this one was. It included free alcohol and soda, free food, free snacks and deserts, all for just $10 a head. Of course, nobody who goes to the mouse races drops just $10. Once you arrive you have to exchange your real money for play money since, after all, it's illegal to gamble with real money. Now, get this. For one real dollar, you get one play dollar. A perfect one to one exchange rate. And, when the evening is over, you turn back in one play dollar in return for one real dollar. Good thing we are only gambling with 'play' money. I would hate to do something so immoral. This has got to be the most irrational examples of rationalization I have seen since the voters of Missouri decided it was 'immoral' to gamble on land, but 'moral' to gamble if you were standing on water. I guess Jesus would have wanted it that way....
The way it all works is there is this dude who has a pile of mice and a racetrack. (They are actually all hamsters but we call them mice because it sounds better.) The racetrack is just a big wooden rack with slots for six mice to run along. It has a gate at one end, and a finish line painted at the other. The entire front is covered with Plexiglas so you can watch the race when it starts. You are given race forms when you arrive and pore over them trying to ascertain which mouse you should bet on. There are six races plus one champion’s race. Each of the first six races uses completely different mice.
All of the mice have been given amusing sounding names, and based on the name as your only clue, you are supposed to make a decision. (I tend to think the mice didn't have a 'name' until the handler shoved them into a box, but I'm just cynical that way.) Should I bet on "Speedy" or should I bet on "Pokey"? (Hint, it doesn't make a damn bit of difference.) A few minutes before the race, the dude loads up all of the hamsters into their slots so you can watch them prepare for the race. Are they fidgeting and crawling to get out? Are they sitting there listless and bored? Are they skinny and weak, fat and slow, or lean and mean? Study them carefully because real fake play money of value is riding on the outcome. Once you have selected which mice you want, you place your bets. You are given a slip of paper that says how much money you bet and on what racers.
Then the race begins! It's much more entertaining than you might think. Some mice just sit there and don't move. Some wander out tentatively, exploring like a nervous rabbit. Some will trot along at a modest pace. And, some, will dash out at a blinding speed, causing everyone to gasp in amazement as he heads towards the finish line and ...then...come to a dead stop two inches from the end and take a sniff. It's maddening to watch, and provides almost as much chaos as an actual horse race. The crowd screams and shouts, "Go Pokey, Go!!" Kids are jumping up and down, and then it's over. Most races last less than five seconds. Five seconds of heart pounding action that leaves you breathless and drained. Time to go get another beer and one of those delicious finger sandwiches to recover your strength.
At the end of the race, winners bring up their slips of paper and collect their winnings. Odds are determined by betting patterns. If you bet on a mouse with only a few votes and everybody else bet heavily on others, then you get higher odds. So, it turns out, there actually is a strategy. Each round Alex and I would wait until the last minute, when bets were about to close, and look at the sheet showing which mice people were voting for. We would then bet on the three mice with the fewest number of votes. We didn't win any money, but by the last race we were still even. We were betting with a bankroll of about $70. The last race of the evening was comprised of all the winners from the previous six races. In the champions race we lost, and ended up down about $25 for the night. However, it was, as they say, all for charity.
This event, like all of the others, had raffles and drawings to raise more money and give you something else to do. Let's face it, it's just gambling, but the odds are a heck of a lot better than you are going to get anywhere else, your losses can be rationalized as 'going to a good cause', and you get to eat good food and drink alcohol socially. It's not all bad.
Movie Night: This is a fairly straightforward fund raiser. We have only done it once, but it was a huge success, and I imagine it will continue as a tradition. The only sticking point with movie night is the legality of publicly showing a film. Schools around the nation show films constantly and don't think twice about it. However, it is more than just technically illegal to publicly show a movie, especially if you charge money for it. Recently a licensing company has been mailing letters to every school in the country telling them how bad they are by showing movies illegally, and how Hollywood could sue them down to their last blackboard eraser, and if they only pay a nominal licensing fee (typically around $400 per school per year), they can show films legally and guilt free. What they don't always mention is that you can't charge money for it.
There is some confusion as to whether or not you even have to pay the fee at all. My friend John Obsershelp called the legal department at Walt Disney and they told him that it was ok for a school to show Disney films so long as they didn't charge money for them. However, we didn't get anything in writing and in light of the scary letters being sent out, it's probably better to be safe than sorry.
There are two expenses when it comes to showing a movie for movie night. First, is the film itself, and second is the licensing fees. If you rent a film from a company like "Swank" it typically includes a license for a one-time showing. To rent a newly released film runs around $250 to $400. If you already have the films, because you know a film collector like me, then you only have to worry about the license fee, which can be amortized over a year of showings.
As a fundraiser this is all quite straightforward. You put up a huge screen at the end of the school's gymnasium. You put up flyers around the school and send home notes with children letting them know there is going to be a movie night. You ask for a two-dollar 'donation' per child. For the movie night kids are encouraged to bring a sleeping bag, or pillow and blanket. You set up a popcorn machine and sell popcorn, candy, and soda as concessions.
As far as attendance goes? Get out of here. Parents get a really cheap baby sitter, and the kids get to have a monster slumber party. Expect half the school body to show up, probably at least a couple of hundred kids. The audience doesn’t really care about the movie. They rustle and stir, talk and giggle, and get up and down about a dozen times apiece during the movie. And, all along, they have a great time. This event can make quite a bit of money and gives the kids a clean wholesome night out of fun.
Auctions:
This is a fantastic fundraiser and social event. I have been to one of these a couple of times. The one I attend is run by the local Catholic Church to raise money for the school. Some of our close friends attend this church and their kids go to the school so we are happy to participate.
Now, this is a monster event. The Catholic Church gets local businesses, parishioners, and community leaders to contribute generously. Many of the members of the St. Louis Rams are deeply religious and donate incredible items for the auction, including signed jerseys and game balls. One year that I went, someone had donated an old classic Italian convertible sports car! All of these donated items form the basis for the auction.
Spread out through the entire school, classroom after classroom, there are incredible arrays of items stacked up waiting for people to bid on them. You pay a fee to attend the auction itself. I believe it was about $20 a person. Of course, being the Catholic Church, this includes all of the draft beer you can drink for the night. Beer drinking is strongly encouraged, because the more beer you drink the more out of control you may become in your bidding.
Most of the items for auction have a card attached to them. When you arrive, you are assigned a number and you walk from room to room, placing written open bids on items that interest you. Of course, a couple of hundred people are doing the same thing, so you spend a couple of hours checking up on all of your auctions down to the wire.
After a few hours, all of the items are collected and all of the tables are cleared. At this time anyone may then go to the cashier and find out what items they won, pay for them, and stash them in their car.
Now, if this wasn’t fun enough, the real entertainment of the evening is the live auction. A professional auctioneer comes out and auctions off the big items. Including the little Italian sports car. Well, I figured out soon enough that there were no bargains to be had. They would announce an item and its retail value. Once bidding started the auctioneer wasn’t satisfied if it didn’t close for over retail. It was all for charity after all, and if you were looking for a bargain you quickly came off looking like a heel.
Nevertheless, I bid on the little sports car up to about $2,000 and stopped. The next day the guy who won it called me and asked if I wanted it after all. My reply was simple and to the point, sure, I’ll give you what my highest bid was but I wasn’t going to pay the crazy price you did!
This is the biggst fundraiser I have ever been to. It must make tens of thousands of dollars. I love it; my wife hates it, I wonder why?
Raffles, Baskets, 50-50, Teacup auctions
This is a common feature of all of the social fundraising events. The way most of these work is that you buy tickets for chances at winning prizes. Usually, something like one chance for a dollar, and more if you buy in bulk. Recently they started doing a new twist where ten dollars would buy you one arms length worth of tickets and twenty dollars would let you get enough tickets to go from the tip of your fingers arms outstretched; anybody’s arms! So, that guy who stands 6’ 4” and looks like he used to play professional basketball suddenly gets very popular at the party.
Then, arranged on a table, is a collection of baskets containing goodies. They are arranged by theme; golf, sports, dining, and other choices. In front of each basket is a bag or teacup for you to place your tickets in. You can put them all into one, or spread them across the lot.
At the end of the evening a ticket is drawn from each bag and whoever has the winning number gets the prize. Sure, it’s just gambling plain and simple, but your odds are much higher than any other form of gambling and it’s a lot of fun. I have won something every single year I have ever attended and, let’s face it; everybody likes to be a winner.
Like the big auction event, all of the baskets are donated items by local businesses and community members.
Another common fundraiser is the 50-50 raffle. This is really straightforward. You pay a dollar for a chance at the 50-50. At the end of the night a number is drawn and, if you match, you get half the money collected. I have been hooked on 50-50 raffles ever since I won at a minor league baseball game (the Rascals). I made about $400 off of a $1 investment. I recall I was having a really terribly sad day; it was the first father’s day since my brother had recently passed away and it hit me really hard. I took the winnings and spent it on all of the kids and it couldn’t help but get me out of my funk.
Summary:
Those are the big five social fund raising events I have been involved in over the last couple of years. I would be very interested in hearing your suggestions and stories about other types of social fundraisers you have been involved in. I would love to share them with our readers.
Please email me if you have other ideas and be sure to participate in the poll.
Comments