Conspiracy Theory

On this day as we think about the passing of our good friend Robert Anton Wilson it is probably relevant to also think about the topic of Conspiracy Theory.

A lot of people think of Robert Anton Wilson as a person who espoused 'Conspiracy Theory' and, in a sense, they would be right. Robert Anton Wilson was a highly astute observer of the human condition and he realized that it is human nature to act in a conspiratorial way. Afterall, we are all primates out to protect our territory. If an act of conspiracy will assist us in that cause, it is simply the natural evolution of our social compact.

Any time two human beings engage in a discussion to gain an advantage over another group of primates they act in a conspiratorial fashion. RAW made a brilliant observation when he acknowledged that the human condition runs rampant with conspiracy; it is the natural condition.


However, where this theory falls apart is when someone conjours the notion of the 'Grand Conspiracy'. Conspiracy theories that are so grand, so huge, that it would require the tacit co-operation of hundreds, if not thousands, of individuals to keep the nefarious plot in order.

The reality of the situation is far short of that. Before I get too far in this discourse let me assure you that conspiracies can, and do, exist. They meet with great success and their formula is well documented. For a true conspiracy to succeed, for it to be sustained over a long period of time, requires a complex set of layers whereby no individual has even the slightest grasp of the whole. This can, and does, succeed all of the time, and I don't mean to belittle that fact.

However, just because secrets can be kept using a particular set of protocols is not, in and of itself, 'proof' of anything. I find that, over and over again, conspiracy theorists find the greatest support for their theories is a lack of evidence. Occams razor does not die simply because you lack evidence.

Recently this gentle blog has been infected and infested by thousands upon thousands of conspiracy thinking individuals because I made an innocent post honoring the memory of President Gerald Ford.

I even had someone post in a comment section a line that read, and I kid you not, "You have no idea what goes on inside a Freemason lodge..."

Note that I belong to two Freemason lodges, attend meetings regularily, and like to think I am self-aware enough to know what is happening to myself.

The rhetoric is surreal. The anti-Masonic rants proclaim that they know more about what goes on in a Freemason lodge than the Freemasons who actually are members themselves. We are, of course, duped in the whole situation because we are not at the 'highest levels'. This kind of comment expresses the most ignorant opinion of our Institution since our fraternity is delightfully Democratic in nature.

If you become a Freemason today, yep, join tomorrow, stick around and in seven years (probably much sooner) you will be the head-honcho, chief in charge, the grand PooBah, and Worshipful Master of the lodge.

What, you say, that is not enough, even the Worshipful Master of the lodge is but a pawn in the Grand Scheme of things. So, go ahead, join the York Rite, the Shrine, and the Scottish Rite. More years pass by, and as you memorize yet more parts for more plays (remember my friends, from this blog, Freemasonry literally is, at its most basic level, an amature theatre group), and what happens? Why, you become the Potentate, the Knight Templar, the 32nd and, finally, a 33rd degree Mason.

During this excercise what happens to you? Why, you make many friends. Learn many parts for many plays. You devote enormous amounts of time for community activities as well as attending funerals and other imporant social services. You work on charities, fund raising activities, and all manner of responsibilities.

At no point, however, are you ever clued in to the 'New World Order' or any other nonsense.

Now, listen to this now, and listen to this closely. The single most scandalous thing that Freemasons teach is TOLERANCE.

Now, some of our critics equate tolerance with Universalism, and I will grant that this is a fair critique. However, there is nothing more scandalous within it that you will ever find.

Finally, back to conspiracy theory.

It is an insidous form of psuedo-logic. It is like an infection of the mind. It infests people and destroys their lives. It consumes them and eats away at their psyche. They define personal meaning only in finding out the 'truth' about what imagined dark forces truly control their lives.

It is a pointless, wasteful, and destructive mental delusion.

If these so called all powerful forces are, in fact, so all powerful, then why waste your time worrying about it?

It is as if they are searching for meaning in their lives by delving for the mystery found in their dark conspiracies. They have replaced God as a prime mover for the the allure of imaginary conspiratorial forces beyond their control.

As Robert Anton Wilson says, the problem isn't that there are not conspiracies (of course there are consparicies it is human nature to act conspiratorial) but the notion of these vast rube goldberg contraptions that defy logic, reason, common sense, and basic requirements for evidentiary support are mythical nonsense that waste the minds of those who are captured by its insidiuous snares.

Let me give you just one example of how dangerous this sort of thinking can be. I heard a story about a High School teacher who told his students that the US Government was behind 9-11 as well as the AIDS virus. This is a teacher who spews conspiracy garbage on a near daily basis within the classroom spawning chaos, discord, and confusion.

I don't know exactly what fuels this kind of mental disease but I would advise you all to give it a rest.

When I joined the Freemasons I had an interesting thought. Friends might joke; "aren't those the guys out to control the world?" Well, ask yourself, if they are the guys out to control the world, don't you think you ought to sign up?

Why not infiltrate this dastardly organization? Why not indeed. Afterall, you probably know the ritual better than most of us do; you have studied it so intently all these years.

Go though the motions, say the bloody oaths, and join the nefarious cause. Work your way up through the organization all of the way to the point that you become the Worshipful Master, the District Deputy Grand Lecturer, the Most Worshipful Grand Master, the Knight Templar, and the 33rd degree Mason.

Using all of your cunning and subterfuge infiltrate our beastly organization.

I challenge you to do this dastardly deed.

We could use a few more guys at the Spaghetti Dinner fund raiser next week anyway.