Ten Reasons *NOT* to become a Freemason

"Why I became (and proudly remain) an 'antient' Freemason"

Well, I see no reason I cannot make a Freemason themed post. Last evening I attended a third degree at Naphtali lodge. It was my candidate being raised, my friend William Bean. It was an incredible night, especially since we had 28 Master Masons present for the event which was held at the incredible Masonic Temple in midtown Saint Louis. My friends Right Worshipful Brother Chris Neubold, Russ Tinker, Densel Webb, and Fred Statler drove down all of the way from Wentzville and Troy; over an hour drive each way. I acted as the Senior Steward and Junior Deacon for the ceremony.

This was the largest gathering of Masons we have had in as long as anyone could remember for a degree. It is so very gratifying to see Naphtali growing and area members supporting the lodge. After the degree Jesse's wife Meryl provided a lovely dinner in the dining room where we shared fellowship and conversation.

All of this had me thinking. On the blogs of some of my internet brethren I have been reading some very harsh comments about the version of Freemasonry I am involved in. They refer to it as an old boys club, rife with political infighting, backstabbing, and an empty shell of what they believe Freemasony is ‘supposed to be’. I am always befuddled when I read this sort of thing and, to be quite honest, a part of me feels compelled to defend my institution.

I grant that blue lodges in other states and in other jurisdictions may be full of all of the negative things I have read. However, you simply must believe me that here in the State of Missouri we offer a very positive experience for our active members.

Now, this got me thinking about something else. Lately in many of my conversations with friends, when the topic of Freemasonry comes up (which it often does), I sound (at times) like a recruiter. This raises some difficult questions.

Why would I want to 'recruit' people into the institution? Well, it's rather simple. I belong to this club I really like. The club is struggling because older members are dying at a faster rate than new members are joining. If we cannot stem this flow then, in a not very distant time, my club will close down and that would be, as they kids say, 'lame'. So, it appears that I want new members simply to perpetuate the existance of the club itself. It's really not any more complicated than that. Like keeping the Olympic flame lit, we have to keep the ritual alive as well, if for no other reason, than as a tribute to the men who founded this country on such admirable principles.

Over the weekend I was on the boat with my friends the Solomons. The Solomons are all very devout Catholics. They send their children to Catholic schools, attend Mass regularily, and follow all of the customs. One of their sons, Joey, attended Saint Louis University where he received a degree in theology, was going to become a priest, and is a Fourth Degree Knight of Columbus. However, after graduation, Joey decided not to follow through with the priesthood and just a few weeks ago got married to his lovely wife Maggie. I attend charity fund raisers at their church whenever I can, and support my friends and their devotion to their faith.

As you might guess, it is hardly surprising that when we socialize we often talk about religion and philosophy. In fact, before we lost Steven Solomon last summer, he would constantly ask me about Freemasonry and was seriously considering joining the institution. I knew him to be a young man of excellent character and, no matter how many tattoos or piercings he may have had, I would have signed his petition without hesitation.

When Joey started talking about the DaVinci code on the boat we both agreed that not only is is ‘just a movie’ but also that even then it doesn’t actually say anything ‘bad’ about Jesus Christ. It does not question his divinity or ressurection. It merely says he got married and had a kid. This, in and of itself, is no great scandal since he was known to be a man at the time. We know very little about Christ’s life. Even from the gospels themselves only a very short period is documented in his life and the rest is completely open to speculation. This conversation eventually veered towards the topic of Freemasonry where I explained that ‘at the higher levels of Freemasonry’ it simply suggests that there is only one living and true God, the creator of the Universe, and that all organized religions are created by men and for men. Whether you might be a Hindu, Moslem, Christian, or in any other way identify with any paritcular religious dogma, you are doing litte more than putting your human prejudices on God and these predjucides do not affect the creator itself in any way. Freemasonry teaches us that the best way to understand God is through science, logic, reason, nature, rhetoric, and rational thought.

After waxing poetic on this topic one other young man on the boat, Evan, suddenly got very excited. “That’s exactly what I believe!” he exclaimed. “What do you have to do join?” he asked.

I tried to slow him down and suggested that perhaps he just come to a DeMolay meeting next week and, from there, decide if this is the sort of thing he would be interested in.

It is becoming clear that Freemasonry faces a major opportunity now as well as over the next few years. Once Dan Brown’s next novel, “The Solomon Key” comes out and as his other books are turned into movies, the average American is going to be saturated with documentaries and articles about the fraternity. What are we going to do with this? How can we let people know this is an institution they can actually join? And, most imporantly, how can we explain *why* they should join?

While I was driving to work this morning the thought hit me. Instead of listing the reasons why you should join, why not list the reasons why not? Why not indeed?

The Top Ten Reasons *NOT* to become a Freemason.

(1) You have too many friends. Let’s face it, you have so many friends you can’t imagine trying to juggle any more. Half of the time these so called ‘friends’ are more trouble than they are worth; constantly inviting you to social events, inquiring about the health of your family and personal life, and offering their wisdom and guidance. Sometimes a man just needs to be alone.

(2) You like to lie, cheat, and steal. The reality of the situation is that you are good at what you do. You know how to tell people what they want to hear and have never found a situation where a lie, or half-truth, wouldn’t offer you some advantage. The thought of joining an institution that requires you to be ‘square’ and honest in all of your dealings with your fellow man is fundamentally contrary to your character.

(3) You are a nonconformist. You hate every fad, trend, or anything that anyone else is doing in the world. You are so much of a non-conformist that that your are literally a conformist to the non-conformist lifestyle. How could you be a ‘joiner’ of a club and follow their rules? Even if you consider that these are rules you completely agree with, you would still be ‘joining’ something and conforming to a particular code of ethics. This action would be so contrary to your personal identity that you could never join a group that limits its membership to men of good character and encourages them to live their lives by the highest standards of morality.

(4) You are a stingy bastard. The fact of the matter is that you worked hard for your money and see absolutely no reason to spend one penny of it to help anyone else. Senior Citizens, burn victims, children with birth defects, widows, orphans, youth, all deadbeats. Not only do they not deserve any support or help, there is nothing you would get out of either. In fact, even if all they want from you is some of your time, who has that any more either?

(5) You are a religious fundamentalist and believe the dogma of your faith is the only one true path to salvation. You believe that your only duty in this world is to convert other human beings to your faith, or damn them to hell if you fail. You have no room for 'so called' religious tolerance, and this idiotic ideal of ‘freedom of religion’ is a liberal commie plot by those pot-spoking hippies in the American Revolution.

(6) You are a material reductionist. You believe that there is no such thing as God. Not Spinoza’s God and not any one definition will suffice. You believe that anyone stupid enough to believe in a God is a damnable idiot. You believe that the Universe is a Netwonian tick-tock world of billiard ball atoms and molecules, that there was no big-bang, and that human consciousness is a random glitch in the random process of selfish-gene evolution. You believe that life itself is meaningless and serves no higher purpose beyond self-gratification.

(7) You hate the Bill of Rights and the Declaration of Independence. You think the American Revolution, and the Enlightment in general, was a scam. You believe the world ran better when men were uneducated, lived in fear of religious persecution, under Monarchies, dictatorships, and that free thought was a concept reserved for dreaming kittens, not the working class of a society. You do not believe all men are created equal, nor do they have the right to pursue happiness. You do not believe in justice, liberty, equality, freedom of religion, freedom of speech, or any form of representative government. Since these are all of the core tenets of Freemasonry, established by Freemasons in the American Revolution, there can be no doubt that this institution would disagee with you most heartedly.

(8) You are too busy. Once again, let’s face it. You have too much TV to watch. You have a two hour commute every day. You have soccer practice, swim-team, World of Warcraft, XBOX, Playstation, and many other critical demands on your time. In fact, it is completely outside of your power to change your schedule and priorties to engage in social interaction with your community. You don’t know who the people are in your community and have no reason to become involved. It is literally impossible for you to ‘make time’, ‘shift priorities’, or re-evaluate for yourself just what really is important in life. You have a job to go to, you have a video game to play, and Netflix and Tivo to get caught up on. How in the world could you attend five, six, ten meetings a year? How could you go to a charity fund raiser or support a youth group? This is all simply crazy talk at this point.

(9) You hate tradition and history. Tradition is stupid. History is stupid. We are in the modern world now. There is nothing worth preserving. Not buildings and, certainly not, oral traditions. Does it matter that a tradition has been around in human civilization for hundreds (if not thousands) of years? Not one bit! Let it die! Remember when people used to try to only speak Latin in the Latin quarter in Paris? What fools! Remember when your Grandfather, Uncles, and other relatives were involved in Masonry? What a bunch of old doddering fools. Why would you want to sustain and support an anachronistic, outdated, and pointless ritualistic ceremony that has long since outlived its purpose? In today’s society there is no point in carying on a tradition such as this, or any other.

(10) You have no intention of ‘improving’ yourself. You are perfect just the way you are, in every way possible. There is nothing you could do to improve your social skills in public speaking, mentoring youth, charitable service, making conversation, or keeping your mind sharp. Your character is impeccable and there is nothing you could do to make it any better than it is today. Were you to join Freemasonry you would merely have to teach others the great skills you already posses, thus making the entire exercise pointless