John Ratcliff's Weblog

Just a brief post this morning to exercise some thoughts. On Friday evening I randomly ran across a program on 'live' TV. I rarely see live TV at all since 99% of my viewing is off of Tivo. In fact, I was just going to bring up Tivo when this program caught my eye.

Dateline NBC was running a story they had, apparently, run twice before. They were running a 'sting' operation trying to 'catch' sexual predators. The first two times they did this they caught these guys on camera but then let them walk out the door. This time when they walked out the door they were arrested. The sting involves having adults pretend to be children on various internet chat rooms. Grown men would troll for kids, arrange a sexual liaison by chat (usually emailing nude photos of themself) then have a phone call and, finally, the person show up at a suburban home carrying a six pack, condoms, and a camera. They ran the sting for three days and netted over fifty men. I was shocked, shocked, shocked, and then shocked some more. I couldn't fathom the amount of sickness and predatory behavior that is going on in our culture.

There is no excuse for these men, though I will grant that to some extent they are being corrupted by the reality distortion effect of the Internet. I don't think I need to get into too much detail to allude to the fact that the Internet is not equivalent to your childhood Playboy magazine. For those who may have had curiosity in any particular tendency they can get their fetish fed on a continual basis. Fantasies grip the mind and a form of obsessive compulsion seduces them into behaviors that would have been unimaginable decades ago. None of it seems entirely 'real' even to the point of arranging a liaison. I honestly believe that many of these men were driven by raw curiosity to see if that person in the chat room really was who they claimed to be. That said, there can be no doubt as to what their expectations or hopes were.

Part of the problem is the behavior of our youth and how they interact with the Internet. Today we have youth oriented social online communities such as Myspace and Xanga. The youth today is as affected by the changing culture as these sick men who prey on them. The youth is bombarded by sexual images to the point that things we once thought would be shocking they take as 'yet one more pop-up' or 'unwanted email' to close with the click of a mouse.

They are young so they crave social contact. People play with their personas online and for too many of them it all feels like a 'game' right up to the point where it becomes suddenly, frighteningly, real.

My own daughter gets upset when I read her Xanga. I read it anyway. And I tell her why, and you, and them. A Xanga is not a private thing. Neither is a Myspace blog. They are public and open to the world at large. Not just to your father, but your educators, and, most importantly, to sexual predators. Do not post anything on a weblog you wouldn't be equally willing to shout at the top of your lungs in a crowded room because, let me assure you, that is what you are doing! If you want to have an entirely private online social experience then, by all means, keep it private! Use a password protected blog so that only your personal group of friends can read it. That keeps you safe, not only from the prying eyes of your high school principal, but predators as well.

Finally parents, don't be a fool. Letting a teenager have a computer with internet connection in their room is about the same thing as leaving them alone with a convicted child molester and then walking away. Do not do this! Yes, let them use the Internet. They need it to talk to their friends and do research for homework. However, leave the computer in an open family area. Get them used to the *fact* that you will be monitoring their access. It's a shame it has to be this way but for anyone who saw the same Dateline NBC show I saw, hopefully you will realize how very real this threat can be.

With that lengthy preamble let me now talk about my day yesterday. I found a time machine and went back to the 1950's. Attending the Rainbow Girls installation at my lodge was a mind blowing experience. The entire thing was so squeaky clean, full of such high ideas, and prim and proper social mores it was difficult to grasp that I was witnessing this in the year 2006. I really wish I had been able to get my daughter involved when she was younger but now that she is nearly 16 she has too many other commitments with work and school to have the time, or inclination, to join a group that prides itself in wearing long dresses, sashes, and a tiara. While Rainbow Girls assemblies fight to get just 12 girls to join drawn from communities of tens of thousands of students, it is a wonder that this can be so. Maybe other parents just don't know about this sort of thing? Do they still think it is some sort of dangerous cult? Were they to attend a meeting and see what actually goes on (and I took some photographs I will upload later this week) it would amaze them.

My own son is involved in the DeMolay youth group. Fortunately I found out about it and was able to get him to join at the age of 12, before he became too jaded to think devoting himself to charity, service, and the public-good was a lame thing to do. In the past year, on at least four separate occasions, he has had the opportunity to dress up in a suit and attend a formal dance. How many 12 year olds get to do that sort of thing? Not many.

Later in the day my son Alex went to the Troy Lodge and helped with cleanup after their Chili-dinner fundraiser. Here were a bunch of 12-15 year old young men sweeping, mopping, serving food, and scrubbing pots of pans on a Saturday just because it 'was the right thing to do.'

For those parents out there who have a 12 year old son or daughter and are deeply concerned about the kind of young man or woman they are going to become, I cannot recommend Rainbow Girls of DeMolay strong enough. If you already take your children to Church and they are deeply involved in its fellowship and charitable activities, then I think you are already in good shape. However, if you are not involved in that kind of a group or your Church doesn't offer the same opportunities for service and personal growth, then realize that this is an option.

You know, for those who think these organizations might be something like a cult..I can almost imagine why. To see young people who are clean-cut, respectful, devoted to God, service, charity, and country, can be almost like looking like an alien these days. Don't get me wrong. I love our youth and think they are as good and strong as any in the past. However, they are exposed to a culture and are living through a time where the influences in their lives can make a deep and lasting impact.

Please get your son or daughter involved in some kind of organization that reinforces strong principles of morality while creating a sense of fellowship and bonds to the community. If you don't, then they will find their own bonds and you may not like where that leads them.