The Shroudman Prophecies of Paratopia

(For regular readers of this blog, a note of warning, this article is probably much ado about nothing and you will be scratching your heads wondering why I am wasting so much time on it.  Sorry, sometimes I get a bug up my butt and I need a healthy rant to get it out of my system.  It also occurs to me that you are going to be wondering why in the world I am wasting time on people and a topic that you will probably consider to be completely nuts.  It’s a fair question, and I don’t have a good answer for that one.  Nevertheless, I spent some effort writing this article so I hope that you will at least find it entertaining to read; even if the subject matter is absurd.

This article covers a lot of territory.  It talks about the podcast Paratopia and its hosts, of course, as well as the particular episode that started this whole argument.  I cover podcasting in general, with a specific focus on paranormal podcasts.  I also talk about the problems which arise when people who have no formal education in science, advanced mathematics, physics, or the scientific method read books written for the layperson and then make the rather embarrassing mistake of talking as if they know something about these subjects.  And, it’s not just the Paratopia podcast which does this.  Lots and lots of people are doing this worldwide; because there are a whole lot more ‘lay-people’ reading science for dummies books, than there are people who are actually educated in the sciences.  It’s why the ‘History’ channel is now devoted to ‘ancient aliens’ and the ‘Discovery’ channel is devoted to ghost hunting.  It’s truly a disgusting development in our culture and I don’t see it stopping any time soon.

I conclude this article with a very serious discussion about what a rational person probably would, should, or could do if the paranormal intruded into their lives in the way that the hosts of Paratopia claim is happening to them.  I argue that the rational response would be almost anything other than what the hosts of this paranormal podcast have done and I close with an online poll to determine what other people would do if they found themselves in a similar situation.)

My reason for writing this article is based on a specific episode of the paranormal podcast ‘Paratopia’ entitled 'Echoes in a Yawning Chasm'.  My critique is focused primarily on this particular episode and how criticism of it was handled, not necessarily the podcast as whole, which I have generally enjoyed listening to off and on for the past couple of years.

After listening to this specific episode which, quite frankly I found painful to sit through, I went to the Paratopia message forums where I was rather surprised to see that other listeners were much more impressed by the content than I was.  I made a post expressing my less than enthusiastic endorsement of the material and this post then exploded into a classic fast and furious Internet message forum exchange that went on for several days of back and forth.

During this exchange, a great deal was said, and it eventually reached the point where the parties involved seemed to simply be talking past each other.  I removed myself from the discussion and made a promise to drop the topic in public for a self-imposed 30 day cooling off period.  Later I had a phone call with Jeremy Vaeni which went a long way towards clearing up some misunderstandings.  

At the time I figured that when the 30 days were up I would not even bother to resurrect this topic; but something changed my mind.  Two things really. First, in the following episode of the show, the hosts used their bully pulpit to completely mischaracterize everything I was trying to say.  And, second, I don't think they ever really 'got' the point I was trying to make in the first place.  Jeremy did post both an apology on the forum as well as issue an apology on a follow up episode for mischaracterizing my position and, for this, I am deeply appreciative.  However, I still have some things I want to say on this topic.

Now, this blog is my bully pulpit; it's where I can write an article and state my views uninterrupted just as Jeff and Jeremy get to do on their show; so turnabout is fair play and that is what I intend to do today.  This is a long article, yet the expected reading time is still just a fraction of what it takes to listen to the podcast episode it is referring to.

About a week ago, I let the hosts of the show know that I would be posting this article and I even offered them the opportunity to read it ahead of time; so that I might take their input into consideration.  They declined to read the article and, instead, they simply cancelled my subscription to the show, banned me from their message forums, removed me from Facebook, and demanded in an angry email that I never contact them ever again, period.  The specific quote was: "This letter is also a formal request for you never to contact me again through the Internet (email, message boards, private messages of any kind), phone, or any other medium. To do so will result in formal complaints to the appropriate authorities."  

The hosts of Paratopia seem to think that it's a little bizarre that a mere listener might have something critical to say about them (actually, they think it is more than bizarre, they think it is narcissistic, arrogant, self-important, and that peons of weak intelligence, such as myself, have no standing to criticize a show of such deep and insightful brilliance.  This is essentially what they said on a recent ‘live’ episode when they stated, quite explicitly, that only stupid people criticize their show and smart people never do.  Much patting of selves on back followed this statement).  Quite frankly, I find this insanely hypocritical since the hosts of the show are quite vocal in their critical opinion of nearly every competing paranormal podcast and their hosts.  Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, and, contrary to the belief of the hosts of Paratopia, I've got just as much right to state my point of view as they do theirs, and so I shall.  

According to a recent email I received from Jeff Ritzmann, my big problem is that I am a narcissist.  I find his free diagnosis more than just a little bit ironic coming from someone who has a podcast, a magazine, an online store, a message forum, a twitter feed, a facebook group, and a live radio show.  Sure, I'm a narcissist, but I'm in the fly-weight amateur division of narcissists compared to Jeff and Jeremy.  All I have is this little old blog that I barely post to but a couple of times a year any more.  Do I have an inflated sense of self-importance?  There can be no doubt about it.  However, it just seems to me that the kettle is calling the pot very, very, black when this kind of statement comes from the hosts of a show that wallows in self-importance.  Jeremy believes quite strongly that nearly every single spiritual leader throughout history is wrong and only he can communicate the correct path to enlightenment.  So much so that he has written his own book about it.  Jeff Ritzmann thinks his contact experiences are so profound that they might influence future scientific thought about our interpretation of the nature of reality.  Wait, now I'm confused, just who is the narcissist in this conversation is again!?

In addition to hosting a vlog, and appearing on numerous podcasts, Jeremy has also written two books and created a couple of documentaries.  In one of his films he appears nude in a bathtub, for no apparent reason, since it is merely uncomfortable and not particularly funny to watch.  His books are auto-biographical and deeply personal.  His 'spiritual' book is so self-important that the frequent references made about eliminating the ego and recognizing that we are all part of the 'one' almost makes the mind implode as it tries to cope with the cognitive dissonance created by such statements.  Maybe this is how you reach enlightenment, by trying to swallow the hypocrisy inherent when an egoist writes about destroying the ego?  Jeremy often proclaims that all other spiritual teachers are wrong, and only he has it right.  But, hey, he has no ego left of his own...

Jeremy’s comedy bits make broad and often vicious attacks on other personalities in the paranormal field, but the skin gets pretty thin when criticism comes back the other way.  Honestly, I just don't see how a little old narcissist like me can even begin to compete with narcissistic behavior on the order of magnitude exhibited by Jeff Ritzmann and Jeremy Vaeni.  Their inability to recognize their own hypocrisy is almost staggering to behold at times.

So long as you love their show, give them praise, all is well.  However, if you offer nearly any criticism it is not tolerated for long and you are quickly branded an enemy of the show, which apparently I am now.

To be clear, I was a long time fan of the show.  But, being a fan doesn’t mean that I am going to praise everything the show does, especially when it practices the kind of hypocritical behavior exhibited in the particular episode this article is going to talk about.  I would also like to say that I am still very fond of Jeremy Vaeni.  He has spent quite a bit of time in reasonable discussion with me on these topics and I really do enjoy his sense of humor. I also very much enjoyed his first book, and the fact that I cannot make head or tails out of his ‘spiritual’ material is neither here nor there.  I just think there is a certain arrogance in claiming that only you have figured out the path to enlightenment and there is a clear contradiction in demonstrating such a huge ego (not something I have a problem with) while arguing that the only way to reach enlightenment is to destroy the ego; a little humility can go a long way when proposing spiritual material is all I’m saying.  As far as Jeff Ritzmann goes, it’s pretty much impossible to get into a discussion with him because the moment you become argumentative he almost immediately says he is done arguing with peons, doesn’t care what anyone believes about him, and then continues the discussion on his radio show where, of course, you cannot respond.

What is really remarkable is that Jeff and Jeremy preemptively responded to this article prior to it even being published.  At around 30 minutes into their Episode #149 : 2011 Year in Review they respond directly to this controversy.  The good thing is that I didn’t have to make any edits to this article, since I already address all of the points they raise.  The short response to what they are saying is this, neither Jeff nor Jeremy have an education in science so when they make statements that ‘science doesn’t know anything about this stuff’, they are making a statement out of their own ignorance.  Go to school, get an education in the sciences, but if you don’t have that background, realize that you are treading on very shaky ground.  Contrary to statements made on the show, science knows a great deal about the sub-atomic world.  But, if you feel qualified to brand the scientists of the world as being ignorant, I guess you get to do that on your own radio show.  Just don’t claim you are being rational when you do so.  To be clear, I am not saying that Jeff and Jeremy are stupid, I hope I wouldn’t waste so much time on stupid people.  I think they are both quite intelligent and insightful, however, I also think they are uneducated in the sciences and, because of their lack of education, they are out of their depth when it comes to passing judgment on issues relating to what science does or does not know, or can and cannot say about the nature of reality.  When the hosts of Paratopia act dismissive about science, it is at that point that they lose all credence to refer to themselves as being the show for 'smart people', and they certainly lose me as a listener.  

But, I’m getting ahead of myself here, so let me take several steps back and start from the beginning.

I listen to paranormal podcasts.  You might wonder why, that is certainly a fair question.  I listen to paranormal podcasts to pass the time on a long drive.  A podcast, for those of you who don't know, is simply a recorded conversation; typically in the format of a host (or hosts) who interview guests and free-style chat about various topics.  I find this conversational format a really great way to keep the mind occupied while on a long drive.  

Now, there are thousands and thousands of podcasts.  All it takes to create a podcast is a computer, a microphone, and an Internet connection.  Anyone can blabber on about anything, upload it to the Internet, and have their very own 'radio' program.  Their audience might be quite small, but it's just another side of the blogging phenomenon.  Apple Itunes allows anyone with an Ipad, Iphone or Ipod to easily synchronize these podcasts so that they can be played back at a later date.  
Here is a link to the Itunes podcast page.

My absolute favorite podcast of all time is 'The Jeff and Casey' show which was produced by my friends Jeff Roberts and Casey Muratori.  It's a bit unusual since Jeff and Casey are both very successful individuals in their professional lives and are generally pretty damned busy.  So, for them to take the time to produce a comedy podcast is really quite surprising.  They only did if for two seasons, but you can listen to their archived shows and there is a lot of great humor there.

Jeff and Casey graduated from podcasting and are now producing an animated show called 'Jeff and Casey Time'.  Now, what needs to be made clear is that most people who create a podcast do so to make money, feed their personal ego, or inform the world about a topic they are passionate about, but  'Jeff and Casey' do their show for none of these reasons.  They are already extremely successful, both financially and professionally.  They don't need money, and they don't need to feed their ego, especially considering the fact that their egos are already plenty big enough to begin with.  They do the show because it cracks them up.  They enjoy ranting and making themselves and others laugh.  It's some pretty pure id at work and strongly recommended.

Unfortunately, there is only so much of 'Jeff and Casey' out there, and once you have consumed their high quality content, you have to go dumpster diving to find something else to kill the hours and hours you spend driving on the road.

What appeals to me the most are paranormal podcasts, as I have a long time interest in the subject.  To be clear, I have never had a paranormal experience, and I'm a card carrying skeptic.  My interest in the paranormal is fairly basic.

I am interested in the paranormal for the following reasons:

• Mystery
• Story Telling
• Modern Myth / Folklore
• Belief Systems

While I have never had a paranormal experience, I readily grant that other people do have them and I don't presume to judge them for having these experiences in their lives.  Even though I consider myself a skeptic, I am also aware that I am in no particular position of authority to attack someone’s personal and private experience.  I can merely shrug my shoulders, say 'It happened to you and not me', and then listen to their story.

And...oh the stories they do tell.  The paranormal has at its core a 'mystery', something which is unexplained.  That's what makes it paranormal to begin with, and the human mind loves a good mystery; it's as simple as that.  Great story-telling comes out of the unknown, deep mystery, and profound personal experience.  All of these elements are showcased by paranormal themes.  

Collectively, these paranormal stories form our own modern and evolving myth.  Each UFO story someone tells, or ghost story, or alien abduction tale, is weaving the modern mythology of the day.  In the future, when we look back, these will comprise the folk-lore of our time and I believe it can be more fun watching myth be made in real-time rather than simply retelling the mythology of cultures from the past.

Finally, and for me perhaps the deepest core of my interest, is that I am truly fascinated by how and why people form their personal belief systems.  There is a massive leap between someone having a bizarre experience and then for that person to codify the experience into a particular belief about reality.  How people come to form these beliefs and, ultimately, let those beliefs both transform and give meaning to their lives is a journey I have always been fascinated by.

So, there you go.  That's why I listen to paranormal podcasts. And, in that vein, for my money the absolute best paranormal podcast out there is 'Mysterious Universe'.  The two hosts, Benjamin Grundy and Aaron Wright, are world class story tellers from down under.  Their show isn't about searching for 'truth' or 'meaning'.  Nor is it a show trying to promote either the acceptance or skeptical dismissal of any particular belief system.  The only thing their show is about is storytelling, plain and simple.  Whether it is ghost stories, UFO stories, or stories about Bigfoot, they know how to weave a gripping yarn.  This is the one podcast that I make sure I listen to every single episode of as soon as it comes out.  If you are looking for a great way to pass time on a long car drive, I couldn't recommend any podcast more strongly.

The second paranormal podcast I would like to recommend is 'Binnall of America'.  This is a long running and very professionally produced podcast hosted by Tim Binnall.  This podcast is a bit more conventional.  The host interviews people in the paranormal field, usually those who have a book to promote.  It can be a bit of a mixed bag.  If you like the guest and their topic, great, if not, then you may want to skip it.  However, the host is a really great interviewer. He has an easy going and non-confrontational style.  When he does have an interesting guest it is a really enjoyable listening experience and highly recommended.

The paranormal podcast I used to listen to, but do not any more, is 'The Paracast'. The Paracast was made famous back in the day due to its extremely skeptical tone.  There is something refreshing about a podcast which deals with such fringe material as the paranormal while, at the same time, keeping a rational viewpoint and skeptical tone intact.  When this show was good is back when David Biedny was involved.  However, Biedny got tired of it and left the show.  The remaining hosts, frankly, I find somewhat painful to listen to.  Additionally the podcast is riddled with commercials which are extremely obnoxious and constantly interrupt the guests that are being interviewed.  I would not recommend the current incarnation of this show to anyone.

So, finally, we get to the paranormal podcast called 'Paratopia'.  I used to be a big fan of this show but, from my perspective, it has been less entertaining on a regular basis.  The hosts of the show wanted to monetize their effort and, rather than inserting a zillion commercials like 'The Paracast' does, they decided to go to a subscriber model instead.  Now, I don't hold that against them.  Hosting a podcast is a lot of work, and there are real hard expenses to it as well.  You have to pay for server and bandwidth costs, as well as equipment.  The time you spend finding guests to interview, conducting those interviews, and then editing the final product is substantial, it's far more work than I think most people realize.

About a year or so ago I thought I would make my own podcast just to see if I liked it.  I only did four episodes and I had problem after problem with audio quality.  I also learned that I was not, myself, a very good interviewer.  I would talk over top of the guests, almost jumping down their throats at times.  I quickly realized that I didn't have the time, temperament, or interest, to keep it going.   Frankly, I'm glad I went through the exercise just so I could have the experience and learn how hard it is to produce a quality podcast. It is for this reason that I tread lightly when criticizing others who put themselves out there at great personal effort to produce a show for our entertainment.  It's a crap load of work and if your reward is some listener bitching, complaining, or critiquing your show, that can be hard to take. That said I still take issue with Paratopia in regards to this specific episode and how they handled it.

Paratopia is hosted by Jeff Ritzmann and Jeremy Vaeni.  Jeff Ritzmann is a very talented commercial artist.  Jeremy Vaeni is a writer, former pet-shop employee of the month, and wanna be comedian.

When Paratopia initially began, the show was both free and quite a bit of fun.  Jeremy would produce comedy bits, many of which were extremely funny, though often at the expense of some of the more outrageous people in the field.  Frankly, these were people who deserved to be made fun of, so I never really had a problem with it.

In the beginning Paratopia was somewhat light hearted in tone and interviewed a lot of different people in the field.  If you listen to paranormal podcasts what you will often find is that an author with a new book will go on the 'tour'; being interviewed over and over again by multiple podcasts week after week.  If you listen to the guest on one podcast you generally have no interest in hearing them repeat themselves on another.  However, that wasn't the case with Paratopia.  They would ask questions none of the other podcast hosts did.  And they would usually engage the author in some deeper and more philosophical lines of questioning.

But, over time, Paratopia changed.  It seems to me that it really started with the Emma Woods debacle.  I don't want to detail this bizarre fiasco here at this time; you can look it up for yourself if you are interested.  There seemed to be a marked change in the tone of the podcast once they started exposing this case.  After Emma, their next line of attack was against the use of hypnosis, in any way, shape or form, within the paranormal field.

Now, let's take a step back and recall what I, personally, like about listening to podcasts.  I like to hear stories.  Now, if those stories come from someone being hypnotized, having a dream, taking drugs, or going into a trance, personally, I don't really care much one way or the other.  I just want a good story.

And, while Jeff and Jeremy made a lot of great points on the issue of hypnosis, I began to worry about their very black and white binary approach to the topic.  It quickly came off that if someone claimed to have a lifetime of paranormal experiences but saw a hypnotist one time that pretty much invalidated anything they had to say.  Simply by virtue of having seen a hypnotist once you were persona non-grata and nothing you had to say held any merit.  Now, maybe Jeff and Jeremy take issue with this characterization on my part.  All I can say is that, as a listener, both I (and many others) perceived it this way.

After the period of time of the great Emma Woods / Hypnosis wars, Paratopia just stopped being as much fun.  Gone were the comedy bits.  Instead, the show seemed to progressively be taking itself more, and more, and more seriously as the last bastion of reasoned discourse on the topic.  Next they decided that they were done interviewing book authors and other personalities in the paranormal field, and would focus pretty much exclusively on interviewing actual 'experiencers' of the paranormal.

Now, personally, I don't have a big problem with this on paper.  But the episodes with 'experiencers' were a bit of a mixed bag.  Not everyone is a good story-teller and often times an episode would focus on one or two relatively minor life experiences and then drag it out, dissecting these minor incidents for hours ad nauseum.  Often the hosts wouldn't even bother to get a guest, and instead the two of them would just chew up hours at a time 'speculating' about the paranormal and generally rambling on for extended periods of time saying a whole lot of nothing.  Frankly, I found this exhausting and it held little entertainment value for me.  For a show that I used to look forward to listening to the entirety of almost every episode I found that over time I listened to fewer and fewer of them.

Another problem arose with how they dealt with a long time paranormal author and 'friend of the show' Phil Imbrogno once he was exposed as having completely faked all of his credentials.  Now, Phil Imbrogno wrote a lot of bat-shit crazy stuff over the years but I'll give the guy this, he was a heck of a story teller.  Of course now we must assume that, like his credentials, all of his stories were completely made up.

Paratopia, in my opinion, did not handle this situation well.  They continued to defend Imbrogno long after they should have given up and, most importantly, they should have presented a balanced and skeptical point of view the minute Imbrogno started telling his rather ridiculous tales to begin with.  What was particularly remarkable about this situation is that Imbrogno had been going on paranormal shows for years and years, with completely fake credentials that could have been (and were) proven fake with a simple phone call but, in all those years, no one bothered to do so.  As long as Phil would keep spinning his ghost stories while calling himself an MIT trained scientist, it was all just fine and well for the paranormal podcast circuit.

This, finally, brings me to Shroudman.  Both Jeff and Jeremy claim to have had a lifetime of bizarre paranormal experiences; ranging from seeing bright shiny metallic UFOs to having ghost like apparitions walk through the walls of their homes.   They have had mystical experiences, magical healings, apparitions, apports, and can even share stories of strange paranormal creatures from other dimensions sitting in their living room.

Now, don't get me wrong.  This is all great stuff.  For a guy who likes to hear stories, this is rich fodder for the mill.  Bring it on.

It is important for the reader to know that the hosts of Paratopia have a long track record of poking fun at New Age / UFO people who claim to receive messages from paranormal sources.  So, when Jeff and Jeremy devoted an entire episode of their show to delivering a message of major importance from a disincarnate paranormal entity I was, to say the least, just a little bit surprised and befuddled.

After I pointed out in their message forums that, to the outside observer, there was absolutely no difference between Jeff delivering messages from his disincarnate entity and some New Ager channeling their favorite ancient warrior, what did they do?  Rather than, in a self-deprecating way, acknowledge the simple truth of this obvious comparison, they instead accused me of promoting New Age nonsense myself and spent 30 minutes of their next show making fun of New Age channelers!?!?  Talk about missing the point....

So...let me give you the back-story here.  

For the past year Jeff Ritzmann reports that he has been visited late at night by a shrouded man who has been teaching him lessons of some kind.  On one occasion, when he disobeyed the shrouded man, he woke up the next morning with vicious bloody and violent scratches all down his back; presumably a paranormal event.  He took photographs of his bloodied back and uploaded them to his message forum as testament to the physical reality of this event in his life (Note: Jeff has since removed this photograph from the Internet).

Over about a year or more of his involvement with this shrouded man Jeff has been very, very, cautious about speaking of him in public (common sense perhaps, as many people might assume such a person to be suffering from mental illness after hearing a story like that).  However, something happened to Jeff which he deemed so significant that he had to share it on the November 26th episode.

It just so happens that one evening the shrouded man sat Jeff down in his living room and spoke to him about some pseudo-scientific nonsense which he then dutifully wrote down.

Jeff and Jeremy deemed this message of such potential importance that they heavily promoted the episode and made it a free download to even non-subscribers so that the world at large could benefit from this hidden knowledge.

At no point, that I can tell, did Jeff or Jeremy find any hypocrisy in this.

Once the episode began, Jeff and Jeremy were sure to throw out many disclaimers about this message.  Jeff was self-deprecating and described it himself as coming from a ridiculous source and said that if somebody else were telling this tale he wouldn’t believe it either.  So, with that preface, all should all be fine right...right?  Well...except...that this disclaimer did not make up for the fact that they heavily promoted the episode as being important and, more significantly, spent over an hour and a half dissecting the message for its potential to impact on scientific thought and our understanding of the nature of reality.  The hole was dug deeper once they strongly defended this ‘message’ from anyone who would criticize it on their forums.  And, most recently, they have uploaded the episode to YouTube replete with diagrams and visual aids so that the common man can better grok this important material.

And, just what was this message?  It was 530 words of pseudo-scientific gibberish largely devoid of content (like most New Age twaddle), childish in tone, and in direct contradiction to reality as we observe it.  Even now I can't believe I managed to sit through the two of them talking about this nonsense and taking it seriously for an hour and a half.

After listening to the show I went to their message forums and was even more shocked to see that other listeners were chiming in about how incredibly awesome the show was and how important the message seemed to be.  At this point I simply couldn't believe it, did we listen to the same episode?  Did I miss something here?

Here are two guys who pat themselves on the back for their rational and skeptical approach to the subject, two guys who often ridicule anyone who claims to 'receive messages' from paranormal sources, but when it happens to one of them they are completely unable to recognize their own hypocrisy?  It is as if they, quite literally, could not smell their own bullshit.

I want to be clear; I never said that I thought Jeff was lying about his experiences.  What I said is that the message from the Shroudman was bullshit, and if you compared this message to the messages produced by most New Age Channelers, the Shroudman material was pretty weak in comparison. This is a very clear and important distinction.  I was not trying to attack the messenger (Jeff) but rather the message, which is patent nonsense on the face of it.  Jeff states that if someone else were telling this story ‘he wouldn’t believe it’.  So, with that acknowledgement on his part, how come he gets so pissed off when someone questions the message he is receiving from some alleged paranormal entity?  He doesn’t seem to practice what he preaches.  And, once he begins defending this ‘message’, how can he not see his own bias and hypocrisy inherent in doing so?

Jeff feels completely comfortable judging the validity of every other person’s paranormal experiences on a regular basis; just listen to the show.  But, be forewarned; just don’t question his experiences; which, by the way, I didn’t.  I don’t question that Jeff believes he is having the experience of a Shrouded dude spouting mystical mumbo jumbo to him in his living room (a position which is remarkably open minded if you ask me; especially when you consider the fact that neither Jeff nor Jeremy are the least bit shy about calling any other paranormal experiencer a liar and a fraud, something they do on a quite frequent basis).  But, there is a giant leap between believing that Jeff believes this to be true and for me to believe that his experience in any way, shape, or form intersects consensus and objective reality.  For guys who spend hours and hours dissecting these topics, I think they would have no difficulty grasping this distinction.

After hearing this lengthy discussion about the importance of the message from Shroudman, I was pretty frustrated with the whole affair and I made a post on the Paratopia message forum with the goal of putting Jeff's mind at ease.  I assured him that he need not worry himself about the situation since the 'message' from the paranormal entity was complete nonsense.  However, rather than being relieved by the news that he could dismiss this message as the trite New Age psycho-babble that it was, he got pretty upset with my characterization and defended this ‘message’.  Since then he has dug an ever deeper hole by continuing to promote and champion the teachings he is receiving from this paranormal entity.

So what is this message?  Well, you see, the Shroudman (as this entity is called) likes fractals.  Of course, Jeff Ritzmann really likes fractals too; he has been posting about them on his message forum for years and years, making it clear his near obsessive fascination with these equations.  I'm sure there is no co-incidence here that Shroudman expresses an equal fascination with fractals...no coincidence at all....

For those of you not familiar with how fractals work you should know that there is a key feature of mathematical fractals that allows you to zoom into them infinitely.  It never stops; you can just go deeper and deeper into them and keep finding self-similarity the whole way down.  Now, apparently, this Shroudman told Jeff that our reality is also fractal and that you can continue to zoom forever finding entire universes inside of universes; like so many turtles stacked end to end.  Now, I admit that this sounds kind of poetic right?  One problem, reality simply doesn't work that way.  It turns out that you can zoom into reality, don't get me wrong, that's why the good lord invented electron scanning microscopes.  However, once you reach the Planck constant you can't zoom any further. Sorry Charlie, but reality just doesn't work that way.  Here Shroudman demonstrates about as much scientific knowledge as well, frankly, Jeff Ritzmann does, which, frankly, ain't that much.

This is the point where Jeff and Jeremy begin to get into real trouble.  God love them.  Jeremy is a great writer and a really funny guy.  Jeff is a great artist and usually pretty articulate.  But, honestly, neither of them knows much of anything about science other than what they try to understand by reading quantum physics books written for the layman.  These ‘quantum physics for dummies’ books take concepts that are so complex that only a relatively small percentage of people on the planet can even wrap their head around the mathematics, and then reduce them to crude and simplistic analogy.  

Unfortunately, to the laymen who read these books, they now think they ‘know something’ about quantum physics and quickly leap to using these concepts to ‘explain’ every type of paranormal event they have ever encountered in their lives; a leap of logic which is as laughable as it is ridiculous.  But the layman doesn't get it, because the most he can grasp are the crude analogies in the books he has read.  Using 'quantum physics' to 'explain' paranormal events is no explanation at all.  It's just equating one thing you don't understand with something else you don't understand.  There is no correlation other than your inability to grasp the two concepts.  One does not 'explain' the other; especially considering the fact that quantum physics is backed up by rigorous mathematics which are highly accurate and predictable in how we apply it to the real world while the paranormal is, well, it's just a bunch of stories which do not bend to the scientific method in any way, shape, or form.  One does not 'explain' the other, and anyone who says it does is merely demonstrating their ignorance of math, science, and how reality is modeled and understood through the scientific method.

One of the most painful podcast listening experiences is when Jeff and Jeremy hear a paranormal story and then free-style rap on quantum physics as a way to "explain" it.  Stop.  Please, for the love of God, stop.  You know you are out of your depth, so please don't keep digging yourself a deeper hole. (For the record, I am not myself a physicist nor do I have any significant training in that field beyond college level physics, chemistry, and a great deal of advanced mathematics courses I took when I attended college.  However, I am just smart enough to know that I shouldn't be speculating in areas I know nothing about.  And, also for the record, I do have a formal training in the scientific method, I have been published in a number of peer reviewed scientific journals, and I do know what the requirements are for something to be 'explained' by science.)  

I would like to point out something else that Jeff, Jeremy, and a bunch of other paranormal proponents are guilty of.  When some scientific principle, theory, or experiment appears to support their pet paranormal claim, they will tout it with great enthusiasm.  However, whenever something in scientific understanding states, unequivocally, that their pet paranormal theory is completely impossible, they are quick to reject science and the scientific establishment as a bunch of fanatical closed minded fundamentalists.  How convenient it must be to get to pick and choose which parts of science you like and which parts you don’t.  It’s a lot like picking which parts of a religion you will follow and which you won’t.  In fact, it’s exactly like that.  But, I have news for you, if you are going to think of yourself as a rational person, one willing to accept the power of the scientific method as a tool for understanding the nature of reality, then you don’t get to do that.  You can’t just reject science because a ghost came into your living room and told you so.  It simply doesn’t work that way if you still want to consider yourself to be a rational human being.  And, if someone like me comes onto your message forum and points out the obvious and clear stupidity of the message you received from your paranormal pal, I’ve got news for you, I’m not the problem.  Your paranormal buddy is.

So, just what is this great message from Shroudman?  Am I being unfair?  Was it really an important message for mankind, worthy of deep and serious consideration by our most learned scholars and scientists?  Was it more brilliant than the channeled writings of other New Age mystics?

Unfortunately, to date, Jeff has failed to successfully video tape or in any way record his interactions with Shroudman other than by taking shorthand on post-it notes; so the best that I can do is reproduce the following detailed 3d computer simulation of the event.  It is important to note that the dialogue in the following video is reproduced exactly perfectly, word for word, as transcribed by Jeff Ritzmann and relayed on the show.

So, there you have it.  This long rambling post is almost over.  But, I would like to close with these few thoughts about Jeff Ritzmann's experience with the Shroudman. Thoughts that I have when I ask myself, "What would I do if Shroudman were showing up in my living room?"  And, one might wonder, why doesn't, or hasn't, Jeff done some of these things as well?

First of all, if I had a guy showing up in my living room, in a shroud and all of that, the first thing I would do is buy myself a taser and always have it ready.  The next time the Shroudman showed up in my living room, I would hit him with the taser, tie him up, call the police, and have him arrested and prosecuted for breaking and entering.

Note.  This statement is not facetious; it is not meant as a joke nor is it sarcasm.  Quite literally, this is exactly what I would do.  A man showing up in my living room in the middle of the night is deadly serious; especially when it is in the home where my wife and children are sleeping.  I’m not going to sit around and listen to this intruder spout mystical nonsense; I’m going to have him taken out if at all possible.  And, he should consider himself lucky that I'm so nice as to use a taser on him.  My father would have put a bullet through his heart, using the 38 pistol he always kept with him at all times, both awake and asleep.

Now, let's say that the taser thing didn't work.   Let's say Shroudman is too ephemeral, and too much of a paranormal entity to be caught up by this trick.  Maybe he can read my mind.

Well, the next thing I would do is I would go see a psychiatrist and get a prescription for some anti-psychotic medication.  Once again, I am not kidding here.  This is not a joke.  Quite literally, this is what I would do if what Jeff claims to be happening to him, were happening to me.  Even if Shroudman is legitimately a paranormal entity it is also clear that he would only be able interact with me due to something going on in my own mind.  Perhaps anti-psychotics or some other psychiatric medication might block that access and prevent him from intruding into my life.  There would clearly have to be something unique about me and my brain chemistry, otherwise everyone would have shroud people sitting in their living rooms too; and clearly that is not happening.  I would strive to find out what was unique about my brain that causes these experiences to happen, and I would seek help from the psychiatric community to make these experiences go away.

Now, let's say that I am convinced that I am not suffering from a mental illness or the medication simply won’t make the Shroudman go away.  And, also, I am convinced that Shroudman is physically real and physically present in my living room.  In this case I would have motion sensitive cameras set up pointing throughout the house recording 24 hours a day seven days a week.  Once again, this isn't a joke.  A couple of years ago we had kids steal some stuff from out of our garage.  Right after this happened I installed a high-end security system and motion sensitive night-vision cameras all around my home, recording to disk 24 hours a day seven days a week.  And this was just for some teenagers, not a shroudman spinning pseudo-scientific garbage in my living room.  In fact, on second thought, maybe I would get out my dad's 38.

Finally, if none of these things worked, here is what I would do.  I would keep my mouth shut about it.  If this paranormal entity were giving me nonsense messages, I would keep them to myself.  The last thing I would do is talk about them on a podcast, or suggest that they held some importance to the outside world.  Also, quite seriously, as I said above, I would deeply question my sanity.  I would seek psychiatric help and, if I were a religious person, I might have a priest come to my home to perform an exorcism.  The last thing I would do is 'embrace' the experience which is what Jeff seems to have done.  

It doesn’t seem to me that Jeff even wants these experiences to go away.  It’s as if he has no desire to lead what the rest of us would consider a ‘normal’ life.  Maybe he enjoys how his interactions with the paranormal make him ‘special’ compared to the rest of us.  Perhaps he believes his interactions with this Shrouded man give him access to deep mystical and secret knowledge that the rest of the profane world is unworthy to even hear.  Yeah, I suppose that is one way to approach it.  It’s not my way, of course, but you can tread that path if you so choose.  

But Jeff should know that by virtue of hosting a public podcast with a wide audience and baring his most deep and personal intimate experiences to the world at large, he opens himself up to this kind of public comment.  He has lost the right to privacy in this matter through his own actions.  He is now a public figure and his experiences become fodder for public discussion.  He said something about this on his forum before, just as soon as I questioned the message on the show.  He muttered that it was people like me that made him regret ever telling anyone about this experience in the first place.  Well, it’s certainly something worth thinking about, because I sure as hell wouldn’t be telling a story like this in public unless my only reason for doing so was to make fun of how stupid it was.  And, seriously, I wouldn’t even do that, the only person I would tell is a psychiatrist and probably not even my wife.

From what I can tell Jeff does not seem concerned that a man is coming into his home while his wife and children are asleep.  As far as I can tell, he hasn’t attempted to video tape him, arrest him, have him shot, tased, shouted out for help, or called the police.  As far as I know he has not spoken to a psychiatrist or even a priest. Instead, he just sits calmly in his living room, takes notes, and tells people (with a completely straight face) about the messages he is receiving from a paranormal entity who lives inside of a sub-atomic particle in the spaces between spaces; and God help you, if you dare point out that the garbage this Shroudman is telling him is a complete and total load of horse-shit.  If you do that, you will be attacked, your views will be mischaracterized and misrepresented, and you will be banned from the forums and marked an enemy for life for having the temerity simply to point out that this ‘message’ is complete and utter nonsense.

Note that I never once said that Jeff is lying about Shroudman.  I have never once claimed he is making it up.  And, also, it is extremely important to realize that Jeff accuses other paranormal experiencers of being liars and frauds all of the time, constantly!  And he sees absolutely no hypocrisy in doing so!

My rant is now done and that is my take on the situation, what is yours?

I’m curious to hear your opinion on this crazy story.  Please take the following poll; you do not have to have listened to the show to express an opinion.

The Shroudman Prophecies Internet Poll